individual online therapy
Therapy for Relationship Issues & Boundaries in Ann Arbor
Individual relationship therapy for boundaries, codependency, and people-pleasing across Michigan.
BCBS in-network
Individual Therapy for the Hard Work of Relationships.
Relationships are where a lot of life's heaviest stuff lives.
The exhaustion of always being the one who gives in. The guilt that shows up the moment you try to hold a line. The slow burn of staying in dynamics that stopped working a long time ago. Somewhere along the way, you may have learned to put yourself last, and now you're so good at it that you barely notice you're doing it.
This is individual therapy for relationship issues, not couples counseling. It is work you do on your own, focusing entirely on you and how you show up in relationships, what it costs you, and how to change it.
Everyone’s situation is unique, but here are some common reasons people reach out for relationship focused therapy:
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You have spent so long prioritizing everyone else that saying no feels physically impossible.
We help you figure out where that pattern came from and how to start making decisions based on what you actually want.
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Keeping the peace has become your default, even when the peace you are keeping is not really peace at all.
Therapy helps you get comfortable with healthy conflict so you stop shrinking to avoid it.
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Knowing you need boundaries and actually being able to set them are two very different things.
We work on both, including what to do when the people in your life push back.
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Caring for an aging or unwell family member is hard enough on its own. When the relationship has always been complicated, it adds a layer of grief, guilt, and resentment that most people do not have a clean place to put.
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Some family relationships are painful no matter how much distance you create. Whether you are navigating ongoing dysfunction or processing the decision to step back entirely, this is some of the heaviest work there is and you do not have to figure it out alone.
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When the threat of losing someone drives your decisions more than your actual needs do, relationships become something to manage rather than something to enjoy. Therapy helps you understand where that fear comes from and how to stop letting it run things.
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Betrayal can damage trust and destabilizes your sense of reality. Whether you are working through what happened, deciding what you want to do next, or just trying to make sense of it, individual therapy gives you space to process it on your own terms.
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When your sense of stability depends on managing other people's emotions, relationships become exhausting.
We help you understand the pattern, where it started, and how to build something healthier.
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Whether it comes from past relationships, family dynamics, or experiences you have not fully processed, difficulty trusting others can quietly sabotage even your closest connections.
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Different people, same dynamic. If you keep ending up in the same situation with different faces, that is not bad luck. It is usually something worth looking at in therapy.
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Losing a friendship can be just as painful as any other relationship ending, and it gets far less acknowledgment. Therapy helps you grieve what it was, understand why it stopped working, and stop carrying the guilt that tends to follow you out the door.
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When you are always the one who remembers, plans, checks in, and holds everything together, the imbalance eventually becomes its own kind of resentment.
We help you name what is happening and figure out what you actually want to do about it.
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Letting people in is genuinely difficult when you have learned that being open comes with a cost. We work on building the capacity for real closeness without the reflexive urge to pull back the moment things get real.
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When every new connection starts to feel like a job interview you did not want to go to, something needs to reset.
Therapy helps you figure out whether the patterns showing up in dating are about the process or something worth looking at more closely.
What would it actually feel like to put yourself first?
You have spent a long time making yourself smaller so everyone else could be comfortable. It does not have to stay that way.
How it actually feels
What Do Unhealthy Relationship Patterns Actually Look Like?
If this is all you have ever known, you may be completely exhausted but not even see it as a problem. It is just life. It is just how relationships work. And if you do recognize that something is off, you might feel stuck. Like you know something needs to change but have no idea where to start or whether change is even possible.
Here are some of the most common patterns we see in relationship therapy:
You set a boundary and spend the next several days spiraling with guilt about it.
Avoiding conflict is a reflex that you don’t even notice you are doing anymore.
You have similar conflicts or patterns with different people and don’t know why.
The relationships in your life feel one-sided, but you stay anyway.
You give until there is nothing left, and somehow still feel like it is not enough.
Your sense of stability depends on how the people around you are doing.
You apologize constantly, sometimes before you even know what you did.
Trust feels genuinely difficult, even with people who have never given you a reason to doubt them.
People-pleasing has become so automatic that you have no idea what you actually want anymore.
You manage everything for everyone and the resentment is starting to show.
You are consumed by caring for someone else and there is nothing left for you.
If any of these sound familiar, we can help.
Our Approach
This is How Change Happens.
Relationship therapy at Connecting Heals is grounded, practical, and built around you. We may not need to rehash all your relationships to help you make changes. We want to understand the patterns that are making your relationships harder than they need to be, figure out where they came from, and help you actually change them.
That work looks different for everyone. For some people it’s learning to recognize the moment they abandon themselves in a conversation and figuring out how to stay. For others it’s tracing a pattern back to where it started and finally making sense of it. For most people it’s both, and can take time. We’re not in a hurry, and we’re not going to rush you toward changes you aren’t ready for.
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What is CBT?
CBT is a structured approach built on the connection between how you think, how you feel, and how you behave. It focuses on identifying & replacing unhelpful thought patterns.How Does CBT Help With Relationship Issues?
A lot of relationship patterns are driven by beliefs you formed early on about what you deserve, what's safe, and how people work. CBT helps you identify those beliefs, challenge the ones that are keeping you stuck, and respond to the people in your life in ways you actually choose. -
What is DBT?
DBT is a skills-based therapy that balances change with acceptance. It focuses on building coping tools for managing intense emotions and navigating difficult situations.How Does DBT Help With Relationship Issues?
Relationships get harder when emotions run things. DBT gives you concrete skills for managing emotional intensity in the moment, communicating more effectively, and navigating conflict without it costing you the relationship or yourself. -
What is EMDR?
EMDR uses bilateral stimulation to help the brain reprocess memories and experiences that got stuck. It works with the brain's natural processing system.How Does EMDR Help With Relationship Issues?
Many relationship patterns aren't really about the present. They're echoes of past experiences that never fully processed. EMDR works directly with those roots, reducing the emotional charge they carry so they stop driving your reactions in current relationships. -
What is Ego State Therapy?
Ego State Therapy views the mind as a collection of distinct parts, each with its own history and protective role. Therapy helps them communicate and work together.How Does Ego State Therapy Help With Relationship Issues?
The part of you that people-pleases, the part that shuts down in conflict, the part that stays long after it should leave. These are protective responses. Ego State Therapy helps you understand what each part is responding to and build a more intentional way of showing up in your relationships. -
What is Psychodynamic Therapy?
Psychodynamic therapy explores how past experiences and early relationships shape the patterns, reactions, and struggles showing up in your life today. It works to uncover the deeper why behind cycles that feel impossible to break on your own.How Does Psychodynamic Therapy Help With Relationship Issues?
Relationship patterns don't develop in a vacuum. The way you attach, avoid, people-please, or shut down usually has roots that go back further than the relationship you're in now. Psychodynamic therapy helps you trace those roots, make sense of what you've been carrying, and build more genuine connections from a clearer sense of who you actually are.
Methods We Use to Help
the benefits
What Relationship Therapy Actually Does for You
Set boundaries, guilt-free.
Setting boundaries is one thing. Not spending the next three days convinced you are a terrible person for doing it is another. Therapy helps you build both the skill and the self-trust to make them stick.
Learn to put yourself first.
People-pleasing does not disappear overnight, but it does loosen its grip. You’ll recognize when it happens and be intentional about your decisions.
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Learn to break old patterns.
Codependency and conflict avoidance do not just affect one relationship. They follow you. Therapy helps you understand why those patterns exist so they stop running the show.
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Communicate your needs.
Not the version that is softened to the point of meaninglessness, and not the version that comes out sideways after months of swallowing it. Just honest, direct communication that respects both you and the people you care about.
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You’re here.
If you need help, let’s do something about it.
A free 15-minute consultation is just a conversation. No commitment, no homework, no pressure. We'll figure out together if it's a good fit.
in-network for online therapy
BCBS In-Network Relationship Therapy in Ann Arbor
Connecting Heals is in-network with Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan and its affiliate companies. That means if you have BCBS coverage, your online therapy sessions are billed directly through your insurance at your in-network rate the same way you'd use insurance for any healthcare appointment.
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What does in-network mean?
It means you pay your copay or work toward your deductible rather than the full session fee. Most BCBS mental health benefits cover outpatient therapy, including online therapy.
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What about online therapy?
Blue Cross Blue Shield covers online therapy the same way it covers in-person therapy. You don't need to be in an office for your insurance to apply. As long as you're located in Michigan during your sessions, your BCBS benefits work.
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What if I don't have BCBS?
Our standard session fee is $170. We offer a sliding scale on a case by case basis for clients who need it, and we provide superbills for out-of-network reimbursement if your plan allows for it.
frequently asked questions
Common Questions, Real Answers
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Codependency is when your sense of stability becomes dependent on managing other people's emotions, needs, or problems, including trying to get them to change.
It tends to leave you exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from what you actually need. You can't control what other people do. You can change how you show up.
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People pleasing is the habit of consistently prioritizing other people's comfort over your own needs, usually to avoid conflict or disapproval.
The problem is not the kindness. The problem is that it stops being a choice and becomes the only move you know how to make.
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Boundaries are not walls. They are honest communication about what you need, what you will not tolerate, and how you want to be treated. Healthy ones make relationships more sustainable, not less connected.
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Couples counseling involves two people working on a relationship together. Relationship therapy at Connecting Heals is individual work focused on how you show up in relationships, the patterns you carry, and what you want to change. You come on your own.
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Patterns are not random. They usually develop early, they feel familiar, and familiar tends to feel safe even when it is not working. Therapy helps you understand where they came from so you can actually do something different.
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Usually a combination of past experiences, whether from earlier relationships, family dynamics, or events that happened before you had the language to process them. Trust issues rarely come from nowhere, and they rarely go away on their own.
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Conflict avoidance is the pattern of sidestepping disagreement to keep the peace, often at the cost of your own needs. It usually develops as a response to environments where conflict felt unsafe, and it tends to create the exact tension it is trying to prevent.
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When the patterns in your relationships are causing you real distress and you cannot figure out how to change them on your own. You do not need to be in crisis. You just need to be tired enough of the current situation to want something different.
Proudly Based in Ann Arbor
Proudly based in beautiful Ann Arbor, MI, we are rooted in the heart of this vibrant community. We’re honored to serve individuals of Ann Arbor, East Lansing, Kalamazoo, Grand Rapids, Lansing, Ferndale, and all across Michigan through compassionate, online anxiety therapy.
